Welcome to JoshandAllie.com

All sorts of awesome.

Living in Texas I see a lot of interesting modifications on cars/trucks/motorcycles... most of them around Christmas and involving twinkle light objects affixed to any of the above in a variety of unsafe ways.

HOWEVER, being that it's months from Christmas, I was astounded to see this beauty trucking down Slide road this afternoon. So much so that I insisted that my supervisor make a very legal (and if not legal exactly, then FAST) U-turn so we could chase it down the road to get a picture. Despite the driver's stealthy right hand turn as we drove by him, we managed to duck into a parking lot and hunt down an adjacent road until we found it again, this time, parked (I'm not lying) in the "Pre-owned vehicles" section of a car dealership.

Pre-owned...yes, I'd assume so since I'm pretty darn sure it didn't come from the dealer looking like this.

From misc for blogging

And another view. Yes, that's a door. And a light.

From misc for blogging

Feel free to submit captions in the comments.... (and hey will appear right after I approve them - sorry for the delay!)

Around the office

I probably need to make a new section for around the office quotes huh? Ah well, here's a few beauties from today.

Lindsey: Oh! I'm having a pampered chef party.
Everyone else: Cool, when?
Lindsey: Um...April. Somethinkish.

Also, you need to understand that there's a "discussion" (read: war) over the temperature in the office. We're often freezing. Dr. Helton often...isn't.

Helton: *looking at the AC* "Okay, this is at 74. Can I turn it back on?"
Us: "Yes."
Helton: "Who turned it off?"
Jen: "I did. I was FREEZING."
Helton: "Don't touch it! That's why you have a coat!! Wear hats or mittens!!!"

*grin* I love my work.

Mary Poppins, Elephant and Cars vs. Christmas

New theory, people who's names start with the letter J say the darnedest things.

From work, Lindsey is pulling her lunch (a pack of crab meat and spray on butter) from her bag.

Jen: Your bag reminds me of Mary Poppins. You pull the most RANDOM $HIT out of that bag.

Also from work.

Allie: I have a sneeze.
Jen: ELEPHANT!
Allie: That doesn't work for me.
Jen: Yes it does! You just don't BELIEVE in the power of Elephant.

And then from tonight:

Josh: *blah blah blah cars blah blah forza* *pause* You're not even listening to me. You're just sitting there looking in my general direction.
Allie: I'm listening! But ALSO, my tea tastes like Christmas.
Josh: *disbelief*
Allie: Here, smell it.
Josh: Your tea does kind of smell like Christmas.
Allie: I know. It's weird. Anyways, you were talking about engines...

Double trouble.

For the past few months people have been getting me and my supervisor mixed up at work. Why this happens has been completely beyond both of us - we really don't look alike, she's got blond hair and blue eyes, I have mousy blond-turning-brown hair and hazel eyes. She's a bodybuilder, I play video games. She's from Texas, I'm from Ontario. On top of all this, we don't ACT that much alike...

Today however, she came out of our boss' office holding the picture we'd taken for him a few hours earlier with chicken sandwiches in the lou (inside work joke) and looking slightly perturbed. "I think," she said, "I see why people get us mixed up."

I looked at the picture and kinda did a double take.

Yeah, because in this one shot, we pretty much look like siblings. It was kind of a freakish and strange revelation, particularly because neither one of us had seen this before about 4 p.m. today.

I think the next thing that I said was "Yes! I look like a model!"

Anyways, to all the people that asked if we were related, I officially apologize for the "what are YOU smoking" look I gave you before I answered and said we weren't.

Sorry about that.

Tale of an American Peacekeeper.

This happened today, I have to tell you about it before I sleep. So my supervisor (Lindsey) and I went to Lite Bite for a bit of Mediterranean food for lunch.

At the table behind us these complacent middle aged texan ladies are rehashing the Olympics and I unfortunately started to eavesdrop right as one of them says this:

"You know, there's a lot of Americans on the Canadian team because they weren't good enough to get on the American team but they have Canadian fathers."

At this point, I looked at Lindz and she looks at me. When I got over my awkward stunned moment I could feel my face starting to flush and I busted out with

"She did NOT just say that. She DID NOT."

Luckily for me Lindsey actually gets this about me and she's like "Oooookay, how about, you focus on OUR conversation here and stop listening to them. Look at me. Talk to me. Let's talk about your hair again." For real, she said that...and it was a good thing too because I was fixin' to practice my summer olympics shotput skills with a chicken gyro and the back of that lady's head.

Of course I realize that it's really really bad form to start a food fight when you're older than ten, and my country is known for being polite. Despite this, if it hadn't been for Lindz... let's just say I probably wouldn't be invited back to Lite Bite any time soon.

Yay for having friends to watch your back.

A chill in the air...

Some people have comfort food for when the the weather turns cold. I realized, on my way home the other night, I have comfort music. Maybe that's weird but here's a list of my favourite cold weather songs, they all seem to have a bit of a chill to them,

Giant - Father Stan - The quintessential winter song... if you haven't heard it, you need to.

French Perfume - Great Big Sea - Despite the driving beat, something about this song just sounds like a frigid ghostly night on the sea...this was actually the song that got me thinking about all this as I had it stuck on repeat as I drove home last night.

Song for a Winter's Night - Sarah Maclaughlin/Gordon Lightfoot - Yeah, the title pretty much says it all....but I remember sitting in the dorm in undergrad listening to this on repeat while watching it snow outside....it's a good a end of the day, wistful, wanting something more sort of song

The Wreck of the Edmund Fritzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot - something about the weather turning dark and dangerous comes through in this music too and despite the fact that it's REALLY long, I've always kinda loved it. Even years after I first heard it, it still retains a sort of haunting mystery.

Come Away With Me - Norah Jones - I think this is a winter song because one christmas I got this cd and listened to it over the entire winter break. Again, with the quiet, wistful hauntingish stuff...

Baby Step Back - Gordon Lightfoot - No idea why this reminds me of winter...but it does. (It also reminds me of hanging in the basement with my dad, singing while he played guitar. Good times....)

That's all the ones I can remember off the top of my head. Any to add?

Only morons...and me.

I have to preface this snippet by saying that tonight as we were putting up some curtains, I picked up a power drill off the carpet WRONG, squeezing the trigger and kicking it into gear. Josh said nothing (tho he made an "are you kidding" face in my general direction for a split second) and I considered that an act of phenomenal restraint on his part. That was until about three minutes later, when we had this conversation:

*Josh holds out his hand for something"
Allie: Gun?
Josh: Or drill, yes.
Allie: *picking it up carefully* This thing needs a safety on it.
Josh: *flipping a switch* It has one, see? *demonstrates*
Allie: Well CRUMB! Why was that not on BEFORE when I picked it up?
Josh: (mostly to himself) Because only morons need it.

People who rock my world: Cracker Barrel Cook edition

Sometimes the world just has it in for ya. This was one of those days in my world. There was the problem with the leaky shower, which morphed into the problem with the shower spewing water all over everything WAAAAAAY too early this morning. Which morphed into the problem of having no water cause we turned it off outside. And then there was finding a plumber who could fix everything today.

I went to work in the middle of this, leaving Josh to sort that out but work kinda had it in for me today as well. We'll just leave today at "not every day goes smoothly." I know, you're probably shocked right? Anyways, after a bumpy day at work I was driving home talking to Josh. At which point Josh informed me that there was a giant hole in our drywall, and at one point during the plumbing repair the wall had actually caught on fire. This story is much funnier when Josh tells it, so ask him to sometime...but maybe not this week.

Anyway, I got home. I looked at the wall. I looked at the hole. I looked at the scorch marks. I sat on the couch while Josh talked to his mom. I might have teared up. When they hung up I suggested that after this huge long day of Fail we should just go to Cracker Barrel and have dinner. Comfort food. Josh agreed.

So we went. Josh ordered chicken and dumplings and I got peach pancakes. When my pancakes came out, they looked like this because someone in that kitchen is either bored, or an angel, or a little bit of both. Regardless, I laughed until I cried and then I just cried.

From misc for blogging

Sometimes you just need a couple karma pancakes to make it all better.

Dear anonymous Cracker Barrel Cookguy, maybe you were just goofing around, or maybe you were just bored, or maybe you are crazy. I don't care. Thank you for my pancakes...they were awesome. Also, you are awesome. That is all.

Hold on....hold on for one more day...

Allie: You know, I was feeling pretty sad, but I think your falsetto rendition of Wilson Phillips' Hold On... *searches for words* I think that cheered me up.
Josh: Because my falsetto rendition of anything is AWESOME! *pause* Was I on key?
Allie: *laughter* Dead on.
Josh: YES!

Tosh.0

While watching a commercial for Tosh.0 on comedy central

Josh: I can't believe this guy got his own show. I thought you had to have some unique talent to get your own show.
Allie: I guess not.
Josh: The Kardashians have their own show.
Allie: Legitimately tho, Kim has an ass. This guy, he doesn't even have an ass.
Josh: Twitter that...because, I don't know how.