Welcome to JoshandAllie.com

Hint #40

Just a hint to all the guys out there.

If it is cat bath day at your house...

And if your wife is washing the cat in the kitchen sink because it has one of those pull our sprayer gadgets that are perfect for washing pets...

And if your wife accidentally loses her grip on that and squirts herself full on in the face with water that promptly runs all down her shirt...

And if at this moment you decide to laugh at her...

You should probably make sure you're on the other side of the room out of squirt range before doing so.

Because revenge is a dish best served cold. And wet.

Just sayin'. *smirk*

The Zombie Files

For a couple of usually well grounded individuals I have to admit that that J and I have a very high normal conversations to zombie apocalypse conversations ratio. This is partially induced by our mutual love of zombie movies, but even taking that into account, I have a sneaking suspicion that it's slightly abnormal. That said:

*walking out of the movies*

Josh: *excitedly* Man, that was like...the story of my life!
Allie: You know, of all the movies we've seen, I wouldn't have expected you to say that about Zombieland.

At first I was assuming (I have a great imagination) that he just had some post zombie apocalypse history that I just didn't know about (it's ohio man, anything can happen) but turns out that he just related to the movie and that was "exactly how I'd do things after the zombie apocalypse." (At this point I feigned ignorance and sarcastically said, "you'd go to pacific playland?" but I did get what he was saying.)

*Later in the car...after I mocked his survival strategies*

Josh: So...what would YOU do in the zombie apocalypse?
Allie: I'd stay with you. I know my strengths. I am NOT a zombie apocalypse survivor.
Josh:Well, that's true.

*sigh* Okay dude, it's one thing when *I* say it. You don't have to AGREE with me tho. Even if it is accurate... *headdesk*

Metaphorically speaking...

*while at Cracker Barrel*
Allie: If we lived in Canada, I'd really miss Cracker Barrel. Cracker Barrel is like, the Swiss Chalet of the States.
Josh: Yeah, but, we'd have Swiss Chalet.
Allie:True...but there's not as much variety at Swiss Chalet.
Josh: Whatever! This might as well be called "Chicken and Dumplings Store."

For some reason this stuck me as hilarious...so funny that I laughed for a good five minutes, until I teared up. It's funny because it's true.

Allie: Brett Favre is the old guy right? Why does everyone like him? Is he awesome?
Josh: He's probably one of the best quarterbacks of all time.
Allie: But he's old right? So he's like, the Jean-Luc Picard of football?
Josh: Put that on the internet, so the internet can mock you.

Okay, maybe that was not y'know, the BEST analogy....

Moving right along.

Forza III

Today Josh got Forza III.

Josh: Just look at this track!
Allie: Oh my gosh, yeah...because that doesn't look like any other track in any other racing game ever.

I admit, I don't get racing car games at ALL. Except for ATV Off Road Fury, and that's only because nothing says awesome like flying off a cliff and pulling a cordova, taunting sudden and painful death by sticking your pelvis out in the air. But regular racing games, I don't get them. Josh however, loves them. We have a vast collection of racing games on which he spends many hours, perfecting the penultimate car. Expect many Forza related posts in the next two weeks...because if I have to listen to engines revving in my livingroom 24/7 ya'll have to listen to my sarcastic comments the rest of the time.

And then this from about five seconds ago:

Allie:What's that move call in ATV Offroad Fury where you stick your pelvis in the air?
Josh: A Cordova *seconds pass while he races* Why are you asking?
Allie: *giggle* For information.

It has occurred to me that "for information" is the best answer to that question, it gives no suspicious details and you absolutely cannot get in trouble for it. Will be using that more often.

Also thanks a bundle to Wayne Cannon...who asked Josh today if I was turning 24. I don't know if you were being sarcastic or not, but I'm going to pretend 'not' and therefore you officially made my week. And the answer is yes. I am turning 24.

(In 4 days. Just in case anyone was in danger of forgetting. IT'S ON HALLOWE'EN. Yes, I am subtle.)

Love Bank.

Randomly, while building a fire, I am minding my own business checking my website:
Josh: What? Is this not romantic enough for you?
Allie: What?! What are you talking about?!? This is very romantic!
Josh: Okay. I just wanted to make sure that I get some credit for this.

Sporadic update number…I don’t know.

Just a blurb about what’s going on in our lives. It’s been a busy few weeks around here. Mom and Dad came down to visit a couple of weekends ago for Canadian Thanksgiving. And although we never did actually succeed in eating turkey (we tried and for the record, in case you’re wondering, Cracker Barrel only has turkey on Thursdays. Sunday is not Thursdays.) but we did have a lot of fun eating good food, hanging out and wandering aimlessly through the Ranching Heritage Museum and the Texas Tech Museum. It was a completely relaxing weekend and we loved having them close by for a few days. Also Dad quite handily fixed a couple of bent speaker stands for us so thanks for that one Dad!

My job (at Helton Chiropractic) is going fine – for everyone that’s asked recently. At least I think its fine but you can call my boss if you want the real story, or if you want to set up an appointment for a consultation. Or both. The people I work with are fantastic and we’ve had a couple of record weeks as far as patient numbers go… so that’s been fun. Fun and exhausting all at once. Am definitely looking forward to this weekend where I have plans to sleep in, and then sit on my butt… I have even pre-cleaned the house in anticipation so I really will have NOTHING to do. This is the plan…but we’ll see how long that lasts.

Also Josh is doing fine – his teeth are fixed and so he’s enjoying life a lot more now that he can eat again. Work keeps him pretty busy and he’s been on the road a lot the past couple of weeks. We spent last weekend together in Abilene doing Boo at the Zoo with the Xanadoo folks there. Basically we showed up in pirate costumes (Yar! Avast! And the like…) and handed out oodles of candy to already hyperactive children…and then set them loose to run about among all sorts of wildlife. That’s not a recipe for disaster at all right? Anyway, it was fun and we got to spend some quality time with Keith and Amy Platte …er I mean, Kevin from Scrantonicity and Hannah Montana…and bumped into Nellie, Hunter and Will as well, so that was fantastic.

Fall has finally hit Lubbock and all the leaves are changing colour. On a personal note, that’s one thing I absolutely love about living here, over Abilene, is that we do get a hint of fall (yay, prelude to winter!) and the leaves actually *do* change colour. No nice big red maple leaves…probably have to go closer to home for that, but lots of pretty miniscule yellow ones. Whatever, I’ll take it! Have been living off of hot chocolate and hot apple cider the past few mornings and loving it – and we’ve had fires in our fire place a few times now, I’ll tell you what, that thing is going to get a lot of use when the REAL cold weather hits.

So yeah, life goes on as per normal. Hope everything is going well with everyone out there in the ‘verse. Love and luck to ya all!

Allie

It's harder being a girl

Allie: Guys have it easy, they never have to ask themselves "should I bother curling my hair for the football game if there's a 20% chance of rain this afternoon?"
Josh: Yeah, basically the only thing I ever ask myself is... "do I have to shower?"

Exactly.

Diets by Josh

Josh: Ah HA! Today I did the least I've ever done in my life. I watched football, I watched a movie, I ate pizza. And I lost half a pound! Oprah would go nuts.

*pause*

Josh: I'm going to design a diet. The do-nothing diet. All you have to do is sit around, and watch movies all day...with a mild flu.

Justification

*Click*
Allie: Hey turn it back on! I want to see it. I like the interpersonal stuff.
Josh: *laughter* *more laughter* *a lot later* Okay, I respect your geekiness but you do NOT need to be watching Starship Troopers for the interpersonal stuff.
Allie: What should I be watching it for?
Josh: Aliens...and the co-ed shower scene.

Man arms

In the car after the doctor took blood samples from both of us and went on and on and ON about how Josh had "man arms" with those deep veins and lots of muscles and tendons...

Josh: My arm hurts.
Allie: *snicker*
Josh: It does! Does your arm hurt?
Allie: Yes. But I'm not going to cry about it.
Josh: *in a whiny girly voice* MY MAN ARM HURTS...

*sigh*